My very first post, and my very first blog o_0;
Posted at 03:37 AM

w0w, i have my very own blog, cool . Uhm gomen-ne if it's a little plain, simple and weird (or ugly). this is my first time blogging . *reads "a dummies guide for blogging"

anyway i'll be posting more interesting rants next time... even though my life's so boring...

i'm addicted...to YOU! *points at the blog
Posted at 04:37 AM

hm i should be sleeping a couple of minutes ago but... i'm still blogging! LoL i didn't know blogging can be so.. addicting

oh well, looks like i may change the title of this blog anytime soon, if i'm really enjoying what i'm doing right now.

Gonna edit the rest of the blog later, as for now, time to sleep, oyasumi nasai minna-san!

I survived! hahaha :D
Posted at 06:29 PM

LoL, major overslept! Hm woke up at... 3:30 in tha afternoon, hehe.

So lets see... everybody's poking me while i'm sleeping, lol oh well..

This day... back to my usual boring life..

after waking up and eating my late lunch/dessert, watch call for help (i love watching anything bout pc stuffs)

then listened to some of my anime music...

then i am here now again! See it's boring

hm the weather's rainy, w/ some thunder, i hate thunder/lightning . My pc and thunder/lightning don't mix >.>;

hm want to ask, everytime i pick a smiley, the whole entry would be erased, dunno why . And i can't seem to change the color of the background in the Title. Gomen-ne *twacks himself w/ a blogging for dummies book.

Anyway i may post later, but for now, i'll try to fix an old laptop from a friend, i hope it still works though... Ja~
Field of View's Dan Dan Kokoro Hikareteku

Shizuku syndrome..
Posted at 07:55 PM

lol, she txted, forgot to reply, hahah she'll be mad again ._.' hm haven't checked the laptop yet, afraid it might explode or anything..lol kidding..

hm sis changed the cds.. bwah.. so if you're wondering why i'm listening a non-anime song, blame my sis ._.'

hm lol i didn't know that song came from the corrs.. the song from a tv ad of the powerpuff girls..

oh well, useless post, be back later...
The Corrs's Everybody Hurts

From good to bad, bad to worse...
Posted at 04:28 AM

Hm oh yeah, to the close people i know who i haven't told anything bout my personal life.. hm... elli and i broke up, since june 16, so you may notice my akito side in those times. But don't worry bout that, i know i recovered from it, taking 2 months period.

Hm presently, i had a fight w/ a special someone, not really a fight but more of a misunderstanding... hm she didn't told me she was prohibited in going online, and she's busy this past few days, maybe i just overreacted, hm because i miss her? maybe..

When i saw that line in her txt, my heart kinda made a *crack. lol i'm overreacting again, but still...

...it made me cry.

Now i'm confuse, i know she's the reason why i'm happy, but it also shows, she may be the reason why i'm sad.

I didn't choose this life, falling in love to various girls and just to be hurt, and they left me, so i know how that feels. I don't want to leave..

I don't want to break my promises either..

but still i wish for more, if only...if only everything is going as it should be...

Now i know i'm really cursed, i shouldn't be falling in love really, i know what will happen to me even before it happens...

Nice, a good idea for a new title..lol

"I prefer to be love by just 1 girl and she'll never leave me, than be loved by a million girls and one by one leaving me every minute of my life..." -myself

anyway i should sleep, my insomniac side's returning and that's bad... ja ne...
Invoice's Illusion

What a headache oO;
Posted at 02:07 AM

Stupid headache argh, that means i should really stop staying this late online

hm let's see

woke up at 1:30 pm and done the usual stuffs..meaning nothing , lol actually just listened to my anime music and watch tv.. doremi's cool, nice to hear the christmas songs in japanese then baki/and rave. Hm too bad abs didn't continue showing crash gear (although i already seen it, i want to watch it again , but the anime they shown, Project Arms looks ok.

Then went online at 6pm, then usual net stuffs again, checking email, blogging etc.

Saw an old friend of mine...

or rather a bestfriend of mine, even though only i thought of that term...

hm or rather, i've been a good bestfriend to her, but never felt the same way in her

she was saying some stuffs..emoting rather.. if there's such a word..

and when she quitted irc, she has this qm: "(...i'm gonna miss you all.. k00ya nish~*haggols* paooo~ joseph..thnx ult.*huggles* tj..khell..gokz,kht galit ka sakin..i'm still here..te leia bye everyone..see you in 3 weeks or months.. watever..)"

First of all, i'm not really mad, just..indifferent..

red her blog, she was saying that she's alone and none of her friends were online (and i was always online, i guess she didn't really treat me as one)

i dunno why it came to this really... hm

it all started when thing happened, then she began to changed...

she was my bestfriend since 2001, 1 of my 2 used to be bestfriends in waa, the other one's busy with her prince charming now, finding me..useless

ok back to her.. hm.. she said it's my fault `cause i got new friends and instead to her, i'm telling to others my problems etc... eh.. it's not my fault, she's busy with her hs graduation that time...

then she blamed me that because she's getting closer to her bro than to me because i'm getting closer to Anne (my lil sis) than to her, but honestly, that happened because she got closer to him than me before i did that. Closer than a bestfriend, but farther than a boyfriend, that's what he treats that guy..so where will i stand?

Another thing.. she can't deny this... when she's down and she needs someone... she knows i always help her on almost everything, talking to her if she needs someone, giving advices, and showing her that there's still hope... in short, i'm there when she needs me..

But where was she when i needed her?

When i needed someone to talk to?

When i needed an ally against my enemies?

...she's nowhere in sight

She even knows that hate that girl, which is my 2nd ex, she knows the whole story, she knows that i'm the victim, but look what she did?

She talks to her as if i'm not her bestfriend...

and she says i'm the one who's not treating her as my bestfriend?

She doesn't even call me bes anymore (since the time i forgiven her)

I am sick and tired of this...crap

red another thing to her blog a long time ago, saying that she lost all her bestfriends including me

but i lost my 2 bestfriends too...

one of them happy in love with his boyfriend...

and the other one that doesn't treat me as one

...i guess it's my fault...maybe... or maybe not

it doesn't matter really, i still have that special someone

Hm. speaking of her...

i replied to her txt and she said something like, "are you mad at me? the way you're replying seems.. different" (not exact words)

i said no, and told her this blog, she wants to see it but she can't go online.. (she's grounded or something)

and she said she hopes she can go to the aoi, which is kinda... impossible on her part, darn f4 concert...it's those faggot boybands' fault!

So she said we can only see each other on october.. my god that's 2+ weeks from now..

I really don't know if she doesn't want to see me... or she's telling the truth..

i don't know if she doesn't want to go online `cause i'm there or she's telling the truth..

*sigh* She's even jealous `cause i'm getting closer to a friend of mine, which is a girl... well where was she?

Hm she may kill me for all the things written on this blog but it's ok, i'm just being honest, and i think i needed that.

i'm still confused though on my feelings... i doubt myself and everyone else

i don't want to hurt anyone, i rather be hurt (too un-Akito of me)

I'm so sorry my icecream rainbow...

oh well i should stop blabbering bout myself and get myself to sleep, so much for my own promise to sleep early

Take care all!

ps. i'll upload interesting stuffs next time and gomen for the grammar errors, i'm so sleepy. Luckily, my heachahe's gone

oh yeah, the song comes from the ending of Parallel Trouble Adventure Dual.
Shifo's Real (accoustic version)

Three round match
Posted at 05:20 AM

i posted late today, lol and i'm sleepy too...

same sched as usual...

woke up at 1, went online for a short time, then watched tv.. Doremi reminds me of.. that special someone, young and funny, teehee. then Rave.. Haru was asked if he'll save elie or the whole world, he said "i don't know, but i'll find a way to save both..." (i'll say the same thing if i were in his shoes) Then Project Arms, freaky arm, oh well can't say much to that.

hm then went online at 6 and the usual stuffs..

Forgot to add yesterday, i watched Yugioh, Joey was almost beaten by Mai if it weren't for Yugi, he's really a genius in that game. Tea still looks great though

Someone in the room gave me urls related to the Sailormoon Live Action Series

my reaction was...

Moon looks ok, Mars is kinda kirei and cute, Mercury looks kirei and cute too. Jupiter looks awesome imo, but the worst of all is Venus aka my Minako, my god, she's not ugly, but not cute either, "omae wa korosu!" and i was refering in their normal looks, just wait for their costumes and w/ wig, they all look freaky except for Minako (i guess that's what they call a..consolation), which looks ok, kinda look alike her, but not as pretty as her though.



Hm

Talked to the girl w/c supposed to be my bestfriend, she was asking for forgiveness etc etc, as for me, i can easily forgive her, but the pain and suffering still remains, our talk got short though, `cause of her stupid tita. I think everything bout us looks ok... for a while

Then that special someone, she red this blog and.. she's kinda upset and depressed, she was saying something like if i'm not happy she'll let me go and sort of stuffs.. and i didn't said anything bout those things... in the end it came somewhat ok, my confusion deepens though, i'll give her and myself a chance...

Then my lil sis, we got in some sort of a fight, well i did break my promise in something related to the things above (points at the above paragraph), but in the end it turned out well, just a few glitches...

And many people reacted at my last post, lol asking me in irc, ym, msn the same question, "who is that special someone?"

LoL, i guess i should be careful posting here, everyone's intriqued on who that person is, but the thing i can say is, "i'll tell you if you ask me nicely..."

Hm and now i'm here again at this hour, darn i'm so sleepy

Gotta sleep, tc.. all

My qm for today: "I don't know what the curse is... But, I'm glad that I was able to meet you. I'll never regret meeting everyone. I want to hear more of your feelings...It's okay if you're angry, even if it's painful or sad, right now...Akito-san, you're still living." -Honda Tohru[Fruits Basket]

Friendship lasts longer than diamonds? Or so they say...
Posted at 05:13 AM

Argh. Tabulas went down a couple of minutes earlier, so havta wait for it

oh yeah

again (my life's really boring), woke up at 1:30, went online for a short time, watched tv..

hm Doremi is a good anime despite its cutesie and girly exterior, it shows great morals to people(which is quite rare for animes nowadays) and besides, it has good opening/ending songs and the background music's good too...

Rave, Haru save the world withough killing Elie, yay for him!

hm went online at 6

talked to the special someone, was kinda shocked that she's online, at first it didn't turned out good but after some time, it turned out ok... i just hope she really goes to aoi.

My confusion has been lessen, but it's still there, found a news earlier, dunno if i'll be sad or happy, but all i can say is, "good luck..."

Talked to lil-sis, everything went smooth btw, thank heavens for that, lol...

Hm kinda strange, my suppose to be bestfriend didn't talked to me this evening, then lol realized something, it's the same as before. After i forgiven her, it happened, back to normal as if nothing happens.. and treat me as.. nothing...just like before, nothing changed, only herself...

then she said in her qm something like "ganon ba ako kasama?", honestly i can't judge her, ask that questionto herself.

Then red her blog, and found another... shocking thing... while she's appologizing to her, she was saying..not so good things about me at her blog, talk about sincerity...

she also said something like, "am i stopping you from meeting someone else? so why are you stopping me?

lol i didn't said anything she shouldn't meet any new friends, i'm saying.. if she want to appologize, treat me as she used to back to the year 2001, i want her to treat me as her bestfriend and not as someone else! treat me as i should be treated! how dare she say those things? sya ang may atraso di ako! then sya pa magagalit i already forgiven her and still she hit me behind my back?

i don't want to be treated as a trash...

i want to return to the way it was, i want to see the old her, the one who has a bestfriend named goks, who needed him and the girl that i care a lot, and i needed too, but the girl i talked recently wasn't that person, she was a total stranger... as if i just met her yesterday

it seems kinda late and imposible but i still wish we could returned to the way it used to be... and they say friends last longer than diamons, and it's much more expensive too than diamonds..

but still, thanks, those days were the best, i still remember those memories and it will stay here in my heart, forever...

i miss my old bestfriends, i miss her...

oh yeah, thanks bes leia, for now i guess you're my last remaining bestfriend... don't ever change and leave me like the other two... please.

i need to sleep, and one of this days, should stop staying this late online...

my qm for today: "There was always something that I wanted: friends I could depend on. Things that I could never forget, a home that I could go back to, a place where everyone laughs and smiles, to be a person who can keep his friends. Warm places, warm people... they are real." -Sohma Yuki[Fruits Basket]

song came from Shin Hakkenden, its ending theme


Friend of Mine's Kitto Onaji Hoshi no Nakade

See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil.
Posted at 02:15 AM

Hm, this day's got to be the weirdest and most extraordinary day of this month/season. Full of good and bad news, this day though, it's a total mix

First is, the weather's freakingly cold, wonder why.

Next is.. well, got online early at 1 pm, then talked to Ana, had some difficulty at first, but it worked surprisingly well. Hm back to normal? I don't know really. Red her blog, she didn't call me bes in her blog (kinda strange, she called me instead by my chatroom name, Goks) so i can't really say. I should have known this would happen again? LoL. I'll still give her a chance though, but this is the last straw. Kinda strange `cause i don't believe in second chances and she knows that, if she's really my bestfriend. I don't know what her motives still, Trauma? I still have my phobia though, and i did notice new things, kinda love and hate my strong sense ability(napaka sensitibo ko pa naman, i can notice teeny weeny changes to a person's attitude/etc) , although i'll keep my opinions for myself... for the meantime.

Then lil-sis suddenly entered waa and genei, was shocked. Tehee found out that she's on a cafe and... secret , nyway was good to see and talk to her on irc, we usually talk on ym.

hm what did i do for the following hours, oh yeah, dle'd mp3s w/c unfortunately, didn't finished, darn those selfish users, found Doremi's ending song, but the user left.

Watched tv while online, usual stuffs, Call for Help, Doremi's same as usual, kinda missed Rave , then Project Arms, kinda strange is the voice of the twins there is the same as the voice of Killua, same dubber i suppose.

Then at 7:30, watched Yugioh, the story's getting interesting...

Text'ed that special someone and got a good news, well that made me smile, again . Didn't smile this past few days due to some things (red my past posts and you'll get the idea). The news' secret though , but still, it made me happy

Hm oh yeah, talked to Ana again, some problems bout her tita, red her blog if you want to know >.>;. Also talked to Meimi and Lea. They seem to have some problems, but they wouldn't say it, oh well...

Another waa chatter and friend of mine(bro rather) joined the tabulas, Welcome to Tabulas Kuya Rets

Should sleep early now(even though it's already 1:49 am), kinda bored and i'm talking to nobody, and i'm online for 12-13 hours straight! as in front of the pc, so i need to rest, and i feel kinda strange though, everything's not complete yet i suppose...

oh yeah, special thanks to all the people that is reading my blog especially to Cherry, she was moved by my posts, never knew somebody would be touched by it, hehe. Arigato Gozaimasu Kirei Lanfan hime-sama~! I will be always your friend, thanks!

Take Care all...

My qm for today: "But Akito still doesn't know. If there is someone that hurt someone else, then there is always someone that can help them."-Sohma Hatori[Fruits Basket]

The song comes from the 1st ending theme (2nd season) of Yugioh.
Aki Maeda's Genki no Shower

Road Runner! *beep beep! :yuck:
Posted at 02:02 PM

well gonna make a short post, gonna post something new later...

woke up at 1 (as usual), helped Nanz with her blog (hehe kapal ko ), then hmm..

I think i'll go to my lola again, hayy oh well.

Oh yeah, to the waa/wearedal chatters here in Tabulas, please join the WeAreAnime Shared Journal (i'll think of a new name )

nyway that's all for a while, gonna post later for the later events.. ja~

my qm: "You are my spring in my cold winter life..." -Sohma Hatori[Fruits Basket]
Ayumi Hamasaki's Depend on You

Taming the shrew
Posted at 03:42 AM

Hm err i'm still awake, need to wake up early later

hm lets see..

didn't went to my lola's, then watched tv, usual stuffs

then went online at 6, tried to dl, but can't find the songs i want, (if any of you got doremi mp3s especially kitto ashita wa, can i have it please? )

hm what a day, talked to a couple of people (i won't bother telling individually), but had it's own problems and joys.

People change... i should learn from that. Earlier found out that it's true, thought so. So to someone out there I thought you know me so well? Pero honestly, you're not the one the person i met in 2001

Another one is, was trying to help someone who doesn't want to help herself, blah but for some reasons, i easily red her mind.

Why are people so nice when you're there and when you're on your back, they'll hit on yah, what a bunch of low-lifes.

I REALLY HATE BACKFIGHTERS! AYOKO TALAGA SA MGA PLASTIC NA TAO, mahiya naman kayo sa balat nyo, magpakatotoo kayo!

I treat them as my friends but it turns out, they didn't treat me as one, i'm just a nobody, unless they have a problem and needed me, ano ako kilala nyo lang pag may kelangan kayo? lol ang kakapal nyo

I kinda hate myself for being nice.. too nice, that they'll hurt and forget me when they got what they want...

my used to be bestfriends, my ex gfs, all of them... pare-pareho lang sila

Hm still, i'm sick of this crap.

But why am i still helpful? I dunno, i'm happy when my friends are happy so i am affected when somebody's sad...

oh yeah, i hate users or mangagamit...

Omae wa korosu...baka

...

Sorry for my sudden outburst...

I may edit this later, although that's kinda impossible, oh well

Some good news...

Solved my problem in my links section, yay. Added some of my friends there, so if i forgotten you, please tell me, and oh yeah... if you want to add me on your links section of your blog/site, please do , thanks.

ja ne, havta wake up early...

my qm: I didn't say, "Please go and come back safely," the morning my mother got killed in the accident. I had a small test, so I was up until dawn studying. I couldn't wake up after, and so only that morning, I couldn't say it. I'd always said it. But only that morning... I was thinking of quitting high school and start working. But my mother had said, "I only graduated from middle school but I've always wanted to become a high school student. I want you to be different from me and have a high school life." It was at that moment I realized that she was working for my sake. But for such a mother like her, I didn't say, "Please go and come back safely," even to her back as she was going out to work. So at least high school, the high school that my mother desperately wanted me to attend, I want to graduate. That is my goal. I won't lose to a fever like this. -Honda Tohru[Fruits Basket]

Song comes from the 2nd ending theme of Dragonball GT.
Zard's Don't You See!

Fate is a powerful being
Posted at 07:29 PM

haven't posted yesterday due to my isp (destiny)'s maintenance thingy, so my bandwidth's slow earlier...

hm yesterday, aoi was fun, lots of cosplayers(not as much as the last aoi though). Yuna one the first place, next is Hsien-Ko and Sakura of ccs.

Yesterday i feel..mixed-up. Dunno if i'll be glad or be depressed. Not in the mood to type it all here...

got home by 11:30, was supposed to post but *points the 1st line.

hm oh yeah, you know who you are, you hate me? you should have told me a long time ago, lol and you said you shouldn't have told me bout this place? why.. i should thank you, you really did proven yourself as what i have said in my last post. I dare you to say that line to me in pm, or better yet i'll pm you first...

My akito side's awaken again...

gonna post later bout this day's events...ja

my qm(haven't put anything yesterday):: "Who said they would be sad when i'm gone? They will be glad when i die!" -Sohma Akito[Fruits Basket]

The song comes from the ending theme of Oh! My Goddess the movie.


Nishimata Saori's Try to Wish

My illusion ends here...
Posted at 04:03 AM

Hm woke up at 3 (i guess i must be pretty tired yesterday), then she called. Hm we made a deal yesterday...sort of. Gave her time to think, and got the answer earlier... i guess that's the end of my illusion...

Hm i know this will happen, even before i fell in love, but still i did it, i'm really stupid... akito no baka.

talked to her in the evening though, asking me if it's ok that we still talk, i say it's ok, did i make the right decision or i'm just...too nice?

she's asking other questions but i didn't answer whole of them, i guess she knows what will i answer in those questions...

why is it that everytime you love someone, there's always an obstacle... age, school, parents, family, financial status, even religion

especially the parents... why are they so paranoid and over protective? heh stupid question of mine.. can't blame them though, there are lots of jerks out there.. unfortunately majority of guys are total jerks, and i'm paying their crime... such b@$%@rds...

i'm not totally blaming them though, there are many jerks out there as many as the number of flirts and b!%ch3$ out there.. so i guess patas lang...

fortunately..or maybe unfortunately... not that i'm bragging or anything, i'm one of the few nice men living (as if majority of girls look at attitude over looks) and besides... why is this happening to me? do i deserve all of this? i don't know...

come to think of it, i'm really not an ideal guy... i'm ugly, short, fat, and stupid. i'm not rich either.. and i don't have any talents whatsoever...

then talked to lil-sis on ym, she felt sad at what happened to me, and she's somewhat mad to that girl, can't blame or stop her though, but still, i can't seem to hate or be mad at her... but you can't deny the fact that... masama ang loob ko.

i'm so sad i want to laugh, ahahah...

I'm getting sick of hating people, hating those who hurt me and take advantage of me.. but still that's the only thing i can do.. and unfortunately it doesn't do anything to the person...

thanks to lil-sis and to Fuuko-chan for being there when i needed them...

hm i guess i'm back to my old self again.. the angsty moody, temperament akito...

...welcome back

it'll take a long time before you see me smile again...

my qm: "I'm just being nice because i want to be happy, i'm just being nice because i want to be loved..." -Sohma Yuki[Fruits Basket]

The song comes from the first ending song of Gundam X


Warren Wibbe's Human Touch (english version)

There's no such thing as a true happiness...
Posted at 04:28 AM

hm the people here woke me up early because the pc crashed, later found out somebody messed up w/ the registry (dunno if it's a virus or the people here), and the bad thing is.. i was lazy to backup so my last backup was...august

so.. i did what i used to do before i got my cd-writter, clean install without formatting, so downgrade to win98(first ed) just to save my files.. took me up to 4 pm to finish this thing, argh so i guess i'll stay in this os till later or end of the month... don't like 98, had already a lot of hangs and a few bsods...

Hm she txted me a quote, didn't replied, then she texted me again asking if i'm mad or i don't want to talk to her, i said nope, ok lang. hm i dunno, not that affected but still, i get wattery-eyed everytime i open my cell's inbox(which still hold a lot of her old txt), those...txt about those lies..all lies

i feel kinda ok compare to yesterday, but still, i guess i should be alright.

it's really true when they said the line.. "True friend comes when you need him/her...", talked to some of my closed friends...

thanks to lil-sis Cherry, i was surprised on what you posted, i don't know what to say, thanks so much...

thanks to Fuuko-chan, thanks for being there...

thanks to lil sis chansey-neechan, you always help me when i need it..

and thanks to the other people i failed to mention.. you know who you are...

hm i guess this is it, besides the pc breaking down earlier... it's another plain normal day...

hm... i believe this line is true:

As long as there's some people still suffering, there's no such thing as a true happiness...

besides other people out there.. i'm still suffering

but i'm glad that the i'm the only one suffering, and that the people close to me are happy on this day, thanks..

Oh yeah, almost forgot... happy birthday to Meimi

And added the rest of the people to the links, if you want me to add you or remove you from the list, please tell me, and oh yeah, especially to some people i added, na add ko na kayo, so add nyo ako sa links nyo!

ja ne.. i'm sleepy...

my qm: "even though kyou-kun has that other side, i still love and accepted him for what he was, but for now i think only tohru-kun can save him..." -Sohma Kagura[Fruits Basket]

Song comes from the 3rd opening theme of Chuuka Ichiban (Cooking Master Boy)


Deen's Kimi Sae Ireba

Are you afraid of ghost?
Posted at 03:34 AM

Hm another plain day... woke up at 10 am, went online for a short while at 11 am, then did the usual stuffs...

Watched tv, went online at 6, normal stuffs...

Talked to her on the phone, asking me some of the same questions she asked me before, answered most of them, but kept silent at the rest..

Then she asked me a hard one, "Which do you prefer, we never talk to each other or the way we talk now?" Was silent for some time and said, "i dunno.."

Honestly, i don't know what to say, half of me says i shouldn't talk to her but the other half says i should..and indirectly she's asking if i'm contented to the way we talk now, my answer is.. no.

Am i being too nice.. or just plain stupid?

But still..it made me smile..for just a while.. but still... i'm not happy on what's happening to me right now...

why am i still feeling this way? Why?!

Talked to Fuuko-chan on the irc, usual stuffs, i can relate to her most of the times.. cool

Then Lil-sis txted me quite a while ago, she's kinda sick and she's kinda mad at me talking to that girl, can't blame her though, and..kinda my fault. Gomen nasai and get well soon po

Oh yeah, sorry to the people i forgot to add at the links, i already added it so i guess it's ok...

hm well i'm off to bed

my qm: "It's ok to show your weak side..." -Sohma Kyou[Fruits Basket]

oh yeah, you may be wondering why my music for today is non-anime, hehe la lang, i like MLTR... hm maybe i should post the lyrics here..

The Ghost of You
by Michael Learns to Rock


Summer's ended and without a trace
Time goes by - while you remain
Funny how I thought I walked on through
With my heart in one

Chorus:

Why do I still cry for you
Dying to get close to you
Why do I still fear to face
The ghost of you

How I tried to get you off my mind
But you return - all the time
I believed I could just let you go
Like the fool I am

Chorus:

Why do I still cry for you
Dying to get close to you
Oh baby why do I still fear to face
The ghost of you

Release:

I've been trying to release you
To get my feet back on the ground
Still I need my hope to hold on to
Even if I know I should back away
It's just a part of me that I can't erase

Chorus:

Why do I still cry for you
Dying to get close to you
Why do I still fear to face
The ghost of you

Outro:

Baby, baby why
Anyway I try I'm still reminded
[The ghost of you]
Anywhere I go I keep colliding with
[The ghost of you]
I've given up I just can't fight it
[The ghost of you]

Everytime I look away I see
The ghost of you
Michael Learns to Rock's The Ghost of You

Of Mice and Men
Posted at 03:15 AM

Hm another plain but strange day...

Woke up at 1, went online for a short while why ate's away... then after that listened to my anime cds, never bothered watching tv for a while.. till yugioh that is..

somebody had this qm in the chatroom...

"Friends becoming lovers is makes sense, but lovers becoming friends? That doesn't make any sense!

i still believe in that line...

hm nothing much just bothered, i agreed to what she wanted, although i'm sure some people will react. Hm i don't know if i'm being too nice again or something but.. i know i can't stop all of you but please... don't hate her...

she has her reasons.. and i understand..even though i get the shorter side of the stick.. ok lang sa akin

we talked on the cell, txting rather...i agreed that i'll go to her birthday.. and agreed that she can talk to me and be my...err friend.

hm i'll keep my opinions to myself for a while...

hm besides that.. hm talked to the usual people at waa... i heard something serious happened..unfortunately.. i wasn't there.. oh well i hope everything turns out fine...

hm oh yeah.. applied to some fanlisting thingy... i did everything on their rules but still.. my application wasn't approve! kusou...

oh well... i'll join again i suppose.. and it's ok, its just a mistake

(shameless plug start)

oh yeah to all waa/wearedal chatters here in tabulas, if you haven't done it yet.. please join the WeAreAnime Blogring here in tabulas! the url is http://www.tabulas.com/blogrings/WeAreAnime/ there's also a link at the middle right, thanks for joining!

(shameless plug end)

hehe anyway i'm still burning more cds and i need to get some rest.. take care all and thanks for dropping by!

my qm: "If ever i lost my memory, i like you to be my friend again..." -Honda Tohru[Fruits Basket]

Song comes from the 5th ending of Ranma ½
Toukyou Shounen's Present

Deja vu...
Posted at 04:28 AM

hm another strange yet weird day.. just like yesterday..

Woke up at 1, went online for a while, then listened to my anime mp3s... never bothered watching tv again.. till yugioh..

sounds familiar? it is.. same as yesterday... that's my good ol boring life...lol

hm we didn't talk as much as yesterday though.. although she still ask me some questions...

hm how many times i have been criticized by her on my posts so.. like yesterday, i won't say anything here for now.. till i talk to her..

hm..honestly.. i don't know where i'll stand.. somebody advised me that i shouldn't be nice most of the times.. `coz it's like i'm lying to myself...and lying is a big no no for me

but for my decisions.. i'm sure bout those... unless something bad or drastic happen..that will surely change my mind...

learned a not so shocking but good news from my friend, i wish the both of you goodluck..

*sigh* i guess napagiiwanan na ako, almost all of my friends and love one has their own.. special someone in their life..

once my other bes left me for her special someone.. and now... hm it's like history repeating itself.. just like me ex'es... either they'll left me for some other better guy, or parents or school, studies, religion, etc

i made up my decision earlier.. she's the last one...ayoko na...

i used to believe i can dictate my own fate and destiny.... but i was wrong...

just like what happened between me and elli before.. in reality.. i was just a character on a story she made...

just like in a story.. it goes out well but it turns out.. it's not real

and you have to follow the story.. you can't change anything.. it's in the script...

just like in real life... we do what we want.. but fate dictates what will happen to us.. whether its good or bad... we can't do anything bout it...

look at me.. i used to believe i can create my own destiny... i tried to fight against my fate.. but.. i failed..

i believed there's someone for me.. i believed in soulmates... that for every person... there's a corresponding person.. as his/her soulmate... and everyone has they're soulmates.. or so they say...

i guess i'm an exception to the rule... that soulmate of mine must be dead... or never existed...

i'm stuck with this curse... bond by an invisible chain to my own fate and i blindly follow my own destiny...

*sigh* don't get me wrong... i'm not a hopeless romantic or something.. rather.. i pity..myself

hm oh yeah.. the reason why i like minako because... we're similar in some ways... we're both cursed not to love...

ironic isn't it? she's the goddess of beauty but still, her lovelife's practically....dead..

just like mine..

i'm just a walking flesh and blood

the only thing i'll say and do is..

ayoko na... i quit! i give up! suko na ako!

love and my life doesn't mix well.. or rather.. it doesn't mix at all

oh well.. that's the end of my illusion..

hm err i should get some sleep, i still have to burn some cds...

see you later...

i don't have any qm for this day.. can't think too much...

the song comes from the opening theme of Hunter x Hunter ova 2 Greed Island


Wish's Pray

The First Sign.
Posted at 04:55 AM

Hm this day's different..

Woke up at 10, went to my lola at 12 to drop my bro's, talked to lil-sis at the phone at my lola's place...then reached mega at 4...

hm saw the usual people at the eb, it's kinda different than the other eb, but the same nonetheless..lol gulo ko ata..

but i'm glad's someone's happy out there

anyway a strange but funny thing happened earlier at the foodcourt..

was getting a glass at the drinking fountain..and i broke it lol kinda weird.. i didn't hold it tightly and from the looks of the glass it just bursted out or...exploded.. and i don't think i'm that strong... (unless it's my saiyan power oO; )anyway got some small cuts at my thumb and fingers but it's nothing really...

hm got home by 10, went online for a while but destiny does it again, so burned some cds for a while then went back to the chatroom then fixed someone's blog...tell me if it sucks or not, i'll be gladly to change it for you...

hm.. got my first accident earlier and my ...'s near... err nvm. i'll observe the following days..

ja...

can't think of any qm's right now, my mind's...sleepy

the song comes from the ending of the 2nd Ranma ½ Movie


Picasso's Piece of Love

The day a beautiful wind goddess was born...
Posted at 04:49 AM

hm let's see... another typical sunday..

woke up at 12, tried to watch some vcds but unfortunately... the av socket of the tv's busted... permanently.. looks like almost everything on this house is broken including me

so i listened to my anime audio cds (used to listen to my anime mp3 cds.. but due to the fact that i can't see anything on tv.. w/c i need for the menu). loaded St Tail, Rurouni Kenshin, and Dragonball. then fall asleep while listening to those music..

hm woke up at 4, still listening to music.. went online by 6, did the usual stuffs.. talk to some people, park etc etc..

updated this blog.. then burned some cds

oh yeah...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUUKO-CHAN!

hm besides talking to the kirei bday girl, nothing much happened..

hm okaay i should post this and burn my cds...

take care~ and thanks to the people who post comments

my qm: "I'll trust Tohru. For Yuki, for Kyo, and for me, it can pose a good opportunity." -Sohma Akito[Fruits Basket]

Song comes from the 1st ending theme of Kaitou Saint Tail (Sweet Tales of Saint Tail)


Inoue Shoko's Junshin

bLuE is CooL :P...
Posted at 05:12 AM in Blog Updates

UPDATE #1:

hm this is more of an update notice than a usual post...

anyway got an idea and inspiration from a person's blog that i'm updating for her..

anyway due to the fact that akito's color is black.. but i don't like black, i like blue... so instead of black, i put the darkest blue possible on the background.. and alice blue(some sort of light blue) for the font color...

hm but for some weird and unknown reasons... i can't change the color of the frame of the date of post.. hm i'll ask mr. tabulas later i guess...

for comments, feedbacks. reactions, reviews, friendly criticism and suggestion bout the updates please post at this comments section (for the tabulas members) and my tagboards(non-members). Flames will not be tolerated though...

anyway that's all, thanks...

song comes from the 3rd ending theme of Dragonball GT
Kudo Shizuca's Blue Velvet

And Now... The End is Near...
Posted at 06:09 AM

hm same day...

woke up at 10, slept in the afternoon, watched tv, went online at 6, i'm still on handicap mode at dalnet hm then went offline for a while to burn cds.. went back and done some bloghopping..

gotta admit.. for the first time, nakakawalang ganang mag-online, after what happened to me, heh. who wouldn't act this way.. oh well nice advance...err nvm

hm dalnet haven't replied to my email yet.. oh well

hm oh well i guess the evil persons out there are celebrating their victory at my demise.. lol easy for you to say... "The show isn't over till it's over!" -Yami Yugi[Yugioh] (this isn't my qm if you're wondering...)

hm... having lots of friends.. but deep inside.. i know there's a few of them who's real to they're heart at my real friends..

friends isn't just the name calling or being nice.. it's the willingness to be there when needed and... cherishing every moment like it's the last time you'll see each other... and not taking you for granted... as for now i only see that i only have one true bestfriend... she's there when i needed her and she never left me.. not even once.. not even when she found her love! and she knows that i'm reffering to her.. that's what you call a real bestfriend! mamatay na maling hinala..lol

and yeah.. i mentioned bout the backfighters last time right? well guess what, they're still hitting me on my back..lol talk about being human...

well i say.. if you have the guts, say it to me up close and not writting it at some hidden post on a blog or something.. not on private messaging other people..

and when you saw them they'll smile at you like it's always christmas! lol magpakatotoo ka!

if you're a real educated human being, you wouldn't hesitate saying it in my front and.. i may even say thanks for that... i'm not plastic.. if i don't like you.. i don't and i'll say it or show it... i don't like pretending...

Honesty is still the best policy!

i hope my prob would end.. and thanks to the people who shown support...

hm oh yeah.. i may edit and organized my links one time.. masyado kasing madami hm

and special thanks to kirei Tohru-kun for the quotes...

take care all...

my qm: "Why can't people stop envying other people? Why can't they see it? Their own beauty..." -Honda Tohru[Fruits Basket]

song comes from the opening of Rekka no Honou(Flame of Recca)
Oystars's Nanka Shiawase