it's cold, it's dark, it's cursed...


It all starts without warning, a loved one or trusted authority thrusts a sharp dagger slicing deep into the child's innocent heart shattering its safe world of love with betrayal. A reflex pulls the heart away as the first painful emotion brings a fear of death and insecurity. Stunned in disbelief the child's mind scrambles to make sense of the puncture the heart has just sustained. Confused and unable to comprehend the assault, the child accepts full responsibility. Year after year the pattern continues, as trust becomes a distant memory.

Deep within solitude and far from discovery the mirror of the buried heart reflects failure and loneliness. The mind caught off guard responds with a legion of proof the inner voice is a lie. As time passes and silent to all others, the heart's once small whisper increases to a scream the mind can not suppress. Plunging into a darkness of conviction and despair a knowing of the failure permeates the body. Shocked by the inner betrayal, a rage is created that will not relent. Over and over you seek for the one to blame, but none can be found. Through desperate fear the mind has the solution. You are the one to blame.

The now silent heart slowly dies unaware of its gradual fate as despair trickles into the cold voids where the dream once lived. Day after day the darkness kills thoughts before they transform into action bringing a paralysis to life. Moving deeper and deeper into hopelessness, the childhood dream no longer exists. Replaced with a cold hatred that the song of lies was ever heard. Death is the only escape and love is a lie.

they are just waiting for me to die...


Entries for September, 2004

September 9, 2004
leftover quizzes
Posted at 04:56 AM

i found them in my files, so i guess i forgot to post them ^^;

oh well...

You are Ranma! You've got a big head, but you can be counted on when the chips are down. Try to be a little nicer and stop teasing Akane!
Ranma


What Ranma Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LoL...



Halfbreed
You are a six-winged Halfbreed!
You belong neither to Heaven nor to Hell. You are
doomed to wander the Realms That Are In Between
for all eternity until the Judgement Day. Your
fate is absolute loneliness. You are punished
for a crime you did not commit and redemption
is not within your reach. Your powers are
unknown - it's said that a halfbreed will be
the end of everything one day. Therefore you
are feared and hated. Your only hope is to find
the other half of your soul - it is your only
solace.


What kind of supernatural being are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

nice.. suits me best







September 9, 2004
It's Never Too Late!
Posted at 05:33 AM

hm i know i said i am lazy to post anything here, but in this case, it's worth mentioning...

and i guess i want to revive myself somehow...and this blog.. i'll try, i can't promise though

and besides, it'll be a year since i came to tabulas.. so i really have to make this blog back to normal somehow

well anyway

first of all i want to greet Hon a...

BELATED HAPPY 10th MONTHSARY!!!


back to story... we were suppose to meet 3 days ago (September 6, the actual day of our monthsary) but due to some personal problems again... it was cancelled.. for 2 times.. oh well

but at least it went through yesterday.. even though we both lack sleep that time

well we didn't do anything special besides the usual gf/bf bonding , actually we just slept the whole time, although it was kinda short.

then i walked her home(hinatid ko pauwi) as usual..

but we stopped at some convenience store first to eat.. well we're both hungry and we didn't eat any dinner here(nagmamadali sya) and i guess you can say it's for the occasion and we stayed there for a while.. we talk bout some things.. from video games to our own lives...

then i realized something... i'm glad that i have her in my life and i'm sure she feels the same way.. at least... we both compensate our shortcomings...

after i got home, i called her but she's sleeping... i know that will happen

then i fell asleep myself... woke up at 3.. and now typing this post

Thanks for coming into my life Elena...

i love you


end.


Arima and Yukino






September 11, 2004
The Fall of the Twin Towers
Posted at 04:29 AM

sorry if the title's kinda ackward for my post, can't think of anything for a title and i remember this day... i mean the date... anyway i'll tell it later. hm... my mind's seems a little blank, but at least the day's good...except for some minor annoyances

Hon visited me again, yay... usual bonding..

we stayed till 10pm, ate dinner here then i walked her home.. not literally of course...her home's far from here

we ate some fruit frost on the way to her home...yummy!

after that... i got stuck in a traffic at taft ave. on the way home.. i forgot about the telenovela thing of abs cbn at luneta.. and that's for about at least 30 mins.. dang

got home at around 12:30am, went online 15 mins later..and till now i'm talking to Hon

hm.. although pc's crashing... i really need to reformat this antique pc...

oh well.. at least we'll meet again tomorrow

till then...

Gerard loves Elena

end.

ps. somewhat non-related to my post.. today's the 3rd anniversary of the twin towers bombing at new york, but still the mastermind's still at large...

even though i'm not an american, i feel sympathy to the people who's love one died on that fearful day... please pray for the souls of those who have died and that the evildoers be brought to justice!

and to those who plan to go out later, be careful... and be cautious.. it's better be safe than sorry

thanks...



Yukino and Arima






September 13, 2004
One Year Blogging.. The Tabulas Way
Posted at 02:28 AM

i dunno what to post today coz nothing really happened today, special at least...my day's.. normal.. too normal it's somewhat boring

although.. the date striked me.. on yeah.. it's been a year since i've been to tabulas. tabulas is my first time... my first time to blog

so what's the reason why i stayed here in tabulas for that long?

to tell you honestly, before that, i think blogging is such plain stupidity... writing something..even about your personal life and you let other people.. strangers read that post...

till i tried it myself.. and well.. it's just like a big heavy burden was removed from my back.. i feel lighter

and because it's my first time to blog.. well it's really exciting.. meeting new friends, meeting the people you know in real life... fixing, editing and making your blog beautiful...that's why when i first taste the thing known as layouting, it's really great...

and in tabulas, unlike in any other blog sites.. you don't need to master html skills to create and maintain one, you can make your blog great! and if you're a good web designer, you can do endless things with your blog...tabulas is limitless

the people here are nice too.. not just the people i know in real life.. the rest of the people... compare to the other blog site community... at least here.. they know i still exist

so i guess that's my reason why i stayed here for that long... and i don't think i want to leave here... people came and left in my life and in tabulas.. but i'll just stay here.. be here..

so to all the people who plans to leave tabulas or go for another blog site, it's your loss, not mine or tabulas.. you'll miss everything in your whole life if you do so.. if i were you... stay

blogging shows the true human side of people...

so before i end this post.. i would like to say...

Happy 1st anniversary my blog!!!


and Thank You Tabulas for creating this wonderful blog site, you helped thousands of people.. including me

oh yeah.. also thank you for the 10,000 hits! even though i can't say it's for the whole year because i put the counter first at about my 1st version layout and that was i think december 2003 or january 2004. but still thanks folks for visiting, tagging and posting your comments at my blog... Domo Arigato Minna-san!

although i want to mention a few special people like...

to my siobe Cherry for keeping in touch in my cell, for the quotes and the hellos... and i owe you a lot on other things... chie chie ni!

to my online daughter Julie for remembering me.. and calling me at my landline phone.. besides Hon, she's the other person who calls me...thank you very much!

and finally... the last but never the least.. the most special person of all in my life... Hon, for being there.. if it weren't for you, i would have give up a long time ago... salamat po

till then...

me loves Elena

end.


Gokou says 'Happy 1st Anniversary!'

1st Year at Tabulas

Age of Wonders' Go For Number 1 (Dragonball)






September 14, 2004
Blessing in Disguise
Posted at 04:01 AM

About this day.. there's nothing special about it, although i'm supposed to meet Hon but it was cancelled, oh well. But there's tomorrow though.. so i guess it's ok

although it reminded me again of something.. the date.. the day Hon created her own blog here in Tabulas... she got the idea after seeing my blog.. so i guess i should thank tabulas too for that..it's one of the reason why we got so close to each other. so i guess it's like a blessing in disguise...

Thank you again Tabulas for that...

and of course...

Happy 1st anniversary Hon's Blog!!!


till then

me loves Elena ^^

end.


Klilyn, Gohan and Gokou






September 17, 2004
...
Posted at 01:58 AM

i'm really not in the mood to post anything. although i found this on the inbox of my old email. what's in it is interesting so i decided to post it here.

-----------------------------------------

Ten Tips For Making a Better Couple


1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.

2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner undrstands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.

3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!

4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy... There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.

5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.

6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.

7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.

8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.

9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.

10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!

-----------------------------------------


they're all true in my opinion. honestly i haven't done most of that but i'm doing the things what i think is right. nobody's perfect

i won't be posting for a while, i'll try though.. so much for my plan of revival

i lost inspiration in posting...

anyway that's all... till the next time

me loves Elena...

end.


Shinbo Hiromu

Shinbo Hiromu of Chobits






The Jyunishi God


Name: Gerard
Nicks: Son_Gokou, Sohma_Akito, Souichirou_Arima
Status: In a relationship
Likes: Writing and Reading Fanfics, Manga Scans
Hates: Ragnarok Online, PGMA, Liars, Double-Timers, Traitors

How well do you know me?
take my friendtest: click here

The Sohma House

[+]Home
[+]Profile
[+]Gallery
[+]Archives
[+]Links

Tagboard

your name:

url:

your message:

My Fanlistings


I'm a Dragonball/Z/GT Fan! I'm a Son Goku Fan! I'm a Goku/Chichi Fan!

I'm a Yugioh Fan! I'm a Yugi Mutou Fan! I'm a Yami Yugi Fan!

I'm a Anzu Masaki/Tea Gardner Fan! I'm a Tea Gardner/Yami Yugi Fan! I'm a Yugi Mutou/Tea Gardner/Yami Yugi Fan!

I'm a Kare Kano Fan! I'm a Souichirou Arima Fan! I'm a Arima/Yukino Fan!

I'm a .hack//SIGN Fan! I'm a Tsukasa Fan! I'm a Subaru Fan!

I'm a Chobits Fan! I'm a Shinbo Hiromu Fan! I'm a Shimizu Takako Fan!

I'm a Sumomo Fan! I'm a Shinbo/Shimizu Fan!

I'm a Fruits Basket Fan! I'm a Sohma Akito Fan!

I'm a Mahou Tsukai Tai Fan! I'm a Sae/Takeo Fan!

I'm a Minako Aino/Sailor Venus Fan!

I'm a Ukyo Kuonji Fan!

I'm a X/Alia Fan! I'm a Megaman X Fan!

i'm a Akira Toriyama Fan! i'm a Hironobu Kayegama Fan!

i'm a Loyal Tabulas User!

Credits

Layout Anime Theme: Fruits Basket
Featuring: Sohma Akito
Layout By: Chibiusa
Brushes: Miss M.
Image: Manga Distribution
Site (c) Akito

Advertisement